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Is it wrong to date?


Hi, Is it wrong to date someone if I don’t know whether it will work out or not?
(I really love the person!)
Anonymous 16 year-old



Svar 3/1/2021

Hi,

We believe it would be a good idea to wait a while until you date. I think a lot of people forget that it is quite possible to be good friends without dating. This is the best way to find out if you are uncertain.

Through being friends you will be able to find out whether there is something to build on, such as common interests and mutual attraction. It is also really important to be able to spend time talking to each other, going walks, and being with other people. Spending time together with others is a good way to find out if the person you like is really the right one for you. We recommend you not to rush things. If the other person can’t be a good friend, then they won’t be a good romantic partner.

‘The preparations you make will determine the result.’

A romantic relationship can be demanding. You need to have a mutual respect for each other’s feelings and boundaries. It is a shame to give something of yourself away to someone who you know you will not marry. This will also create wounds and scars in your emotions and in your conscience. Having said that, it’s wonderful when two people enter a relationship they are sure about, and when this develops into marriage. Everyone deserves a good life together with a marriage partner. Any children that result will also deserve it. The preparations you make will determine the result. If you rush headlong into it without giving proper thought to it, then the chances of success are pretty slim. A good, long-lasting relationship demands willpower and effort. Love is a verb – an ‘action’ word. Love is more about action than about feelings, and the ‘action’ is led by your will.

‘Love is patient, love is kind.’

You can read what the Bible says about love, it’s beautiful:

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away’ (1 Corinthians 13:4–8).

 

Good luck, and remember to get to know the person before you fall in love. You are worth it!