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Is it OK to pet?


Hi, I’m a Christian guy, I’m 16.
I’m very aware of not having sex and all that before marriage. I feel like I am in control, and I’ve decided in advance. But I’m dating a girl, and I’m wondering if it’s OK to pet with her? By that I mean touching intimately but with our clothes on.
I know that this can make it hard to stop, but where is the limit?



Hi Christian boy of 16,

Thanks for your question. It’s great that you are so aware of not having sex ‘and all that’ before marriage. Perhaps petting with your clothes on falls into the category of ‘and all that’? Sex is not just intercourse, but it also involves touching the intimate areas of someone’s body. Touching or petting through the clothes can lead to strong sexual feelings and sexual activity which we could define as sex.

We recommend that you set yourselves stricter boundaries than are necessary, because, as you say yourself, it can be hard to stop. It IS hard to stop! Good, clear boundaries which you both agree on will help you to keep to the limits you have agreed on.

A lot of other people have asked similar questions, here are more questions and articles about this subject: 

Where should I set my boundaries?
Boundaries for sex?
What is the definition of sex?
Want to wait for marriage before having sex
Where are the limits, according to the Bible?
Do you have sex when you touch her boobs?

Here are some articles you can read about boundaries:

Where Are the Boundaries
Want to wait for marriage before having sex
The Battle for Purity

Best wishes, boyandgirl.info

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