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Eight tips for choosing a partner

A lot of singles want to find someone they can share their lives with. Is it as simple as some think? Not always. When it comes to choosing a partner there are lots of questions that come up:

Are we a good match? Am I actually attracted to this person? Does he or she like me? Is this person Mr or Miss Right? 

Trying to navigate through this confusion can be challenging.

Here are eight tips that we hope can help you as you choose a partner.

 

1. Look for the same values

‘Shared values are extremely important in a relationship. But first of all, you have to find out what your values are. These can include what you believe, what you spend your time on, and what is or is not important in your life. Choose a partner with the same values.’

 2. Choose someone you enjoy being with

‘Look for someone who makes you laugh, makes you feel secure and appreciated, and who makes your life richer. It’s important that you can be yourself in the relationship.’

3. Appreciate differences

‘Does she like art, but you don’t? OK, then you can learn something new. Is one of you good at planning and the other prefers to be spontaneous? Fine, then you complement each other. It’s your attitude to the differences that decides whether the relationship will work or not. As time passes people adapt to each other and manage to use each other’s strengths.’

 4. Have realistic expectations

‘No one is perfect – not even you. We are all people, with good and bad sides. Find out what they are and decide whether you can live with them or not.’

 5. Don’t overvalue the ‘Wow!’ factor

‘Not everyone makes a good first impression. Those who do, aren’t always those who impress you over a longer time. It’s more important in the long run that your partner has good qualities and is someone you can trust, than that they get a lot of attention from the people around them.’

 6. Give your feelings time

‘Sometimes the emotions of being in love appear immediately, at other times they develop over time. Attraction is important, but you need to understand that feelings often increase when you get to know the person and you are vulnerable with each other. Don’t write off the other person just because the first date was awkward.’

 7. Drop your criteria

‘Whether he or she plays guitar, loves the outdoors, leads meetings, or has blue eyes or not, aren’t decisive factors for you to have a good relationship. It’s important to keep your values, but throw away any list of extra criteria you may have and get to know the person for who he or she really is.’

 8. Dare to try

‘There are no guarantees that it will go well, but neither are there any guarantees that someone better will turn up. If you have similar values and this is a person you enjoy being with and want to get to know better, then give it a chance. No guts, no glory!’

Published with permission from iTro.no