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All my friends drink


Hi,
I’m a girl of fifteen. I’m the type of young person who doesn’t want to try alcohol till they’re eighteen, but none of my friends have the same attitude. I’m the only Christian girl in my year at school, and this is becoming more and more difficult every day. These days I’m finding it especially difficult to make friends. I’m the kind of person who has many different friends, but I struggle to have best friends. I’ve ended up in a group of people who I don’t really enjoy being with, but I would rather have some people to be with than be alone. The group of people I’m with only talk about how bad other people are, and I don’t want to do that. When I’m with them I feel left out, as if I’m the one who thinks it’s wrong to gossip. What should I do? All the other groups I’ve been in either drink or smoke hash, which I’m not interested in. The way I see it, I can choose between being totally alone, being with the group who gossip about others, or join the group who party every weekend. I feel like each of these options I can choose will pull me further down than I am now.

Any tips and advice would be appreciated. :-)



Svar 2/24/2021

Hi,

It’s easy to understand that you think it’s difficult when the social groupings are like they are. Let’s try to think about things a bit.

Firstly, it’s important for you to know that the fact that you are someone who will not party or gossip doesn’t mean that you are boring or weak! The ability to stand up to social pressure, especially when the result is that you stand out and maybe end up feeling lonely, is a sign of strength and not weakness. It may not feel good, but just remember, lots of people who seem to enjoy being in groups like these are often there because they don’t have enough morals, courage or understanding to stand up for something else, and they sacrifice their integrity for being part of the crowd, even if it is a bad crowd.

Secondly, it’s great that you as a Christian choose not to drink alcohol before you’re eighteen. Romans 13 says that we should obey authorities, and Jesus says in Matthew 5 that we are the light of the world. If other people would observe Christians like you they could learn what is a wise way to live their lives, in relation to the fact that drinking alcohol is illegal at your age, and because we should have a healthy and well thought-out attitude to it. The fact that you want to make wise choices isn’t just a good example to those around you, but it is the right thing to do when you follow Jesus. In addition you can be sure that your teachers and your parents will be much more proud of you when you make good decisions, compared to the average youth who is part of the ‘in’ crowd..

Even though this can be good to know, it may not help you so much at first. You may well still feel alone, and in such cases we need to make choices or act in ways that are different from what we would otherwise do. Maybe you’ll have to find another circle of friends or other interests. Your school class may not have a great choice, but maybe there are others in the class above or below you – perhaps even Christians? In many schools there are Christian pupil or student groups that meet for prayer and Bible study once a week or so. Maybe you can decide to change the school environment and start a group like this? Maybe you can ask your parents, or a local pastor or priest, if there are Christian families with children at your school. If this isn’t possible, perhaps there is a new circle of friends you could get to know in your spare time? You can ask your parents or a local pastor or priest to help you. You might find a fun Bible study group, or youth group. It could be a good idea to look for a place like this, as every believer needs Christian fellowship. It may well feel awkward to make yourself as vulnerable as this, but you may need to in order to find another crowd to belong to. If the situation is so difficult then it may be worth a try. Adults with some life experience usually have enough compassion to try to help.

And remember: it’s great that you want to stand up for something, so stick to it! As I wrote, it’s a sign of strength. Protect this strength, and don’t give in even if others want you to. Be proud of the fact that you are able to think differently, and stand up for it! When you stand up for something, and other people see it, you may find that there are others in your situation who haven’t yet dared to say anything because they feel alone. You might even be the person who helps others to stand up and make a new circle of friends! There are lots of opportunities. Good luck, and remember: take it all to God. He cares for His children and He knows who could be your new friends.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Set your own limits and Alcohol and feeling lonely as a Christian 

Best wishes