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Crush on an ‘arrogant’ guy


I stay on campus at a college, and I’ve got a crush on a guy there. However, a friend says she thinks he’s really arrogant. I don’t understand this as he seems to be the kindest person I’ve ever met! I get so happy just being with him! Do you think I should listen to my friend and stop liking him?

From a girl of sixteen.



Svar 3/1/2021

Hi, and thanks for your question,

Falling in love can be difficult, both at your age and later on in life. Being in love is a great feeling, but sometimes it makes us blind to some aspects of the person we’re in love with.

Your friend is really asking if this is a good person for you, and this kind of question is always well-intentioned. You and your friend might always have different opinions about people, but it is a good idea to listen to people close to you, who know both you and the person you have a crush on. Maybe you can ask her what she means, so you can find out if she sees that he acts in different ways from what you experience.

Even though being in love is a difficult emotion to control, you can still choose whether you want to spend time with someone or not. If you don’t spend time with him, your feelings for him will disappear after some time. It is up to you to make an active choice. It’s also important to ask yourself some questions at this point, and try to be totally honest with yourself. :-)

For example: Do you know him well enough to really know who he is? Does he have the same values as you have? Is he just kind to you because you give him attention, or is he also kind to others? Have you got common interests? Can you imagine being his girlfriend, and would he respect you?

We recommend that you read this article: How can a couple know if they are a good match?

 

Good luck!