Fourteen and in love with a 26-year-old

Yes, you’re totally normal! Sometimes love isn’t dependent on age, and you can be in love with someone much older or much younger than yourself. The feelings of love come and go without you being in control of them, and girls are often obsessed with older guys and easily fall in love with them. Some boys can also fall in love with older girls. Our emotions can vary so much. Maybe you really look up to this person? Or perhaps you like this person, but can’t imagine dating them.

You’ll notice that there’s a big age difference in different areas, especially as you are only fourteen now. Some of these differences will be in interests, opinions, attitudes and just generally in daily life. The person you have a crush on is an adult, they’re probably finished studying and they probably have a job and an adult life, whereas you are still at high school. A difference of twelve years is a huge difference when you’re fourteen, and the balance between you would not be good. So we would strongly recommend you not to enter a relationship like this with someone who is so much older than you are, at the age you are now.

People who are older often abuse a situation like this. The age of consent is sixteen in most countries (readers check for your own country) so it would be a punishable offence to enter a sexual relationship. When you are head over heels in love with someone you can easily be led astray and manipulated. We would therefore not recommend that you enter any type of relationship with someone who is so much older than you, but instead spend time with friends of your own age so that you can develop at your own pace. Although at the moment you think it is exciting to be with those who are older than you, it isn’t good for you to have close friendships or a romantic relationship when there is such a big age difference.

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Sometimes feelings can seem to take over, but if you don’t encourage your feelings they will more than likely pass. An example of this would be to try to think of something else when you start to think about him or her. Perhaps you can avoid situations where you would meet, for a time?

Perhaps there is an adult you trust who you can talk to about your feelings? We wish you all the best, and hope that you enjoy the age you are at right now, enjoy being fourteen!