Hi! I’m a Christian guy, and since I went to high school I’ve been interested in other guys. I’ve never let my feelings develop into anything else, and am quite happy with life as it is. What I’m wondering about is what the Bible would say about me having children? I really want children, and think and believe that I would be a good father in the future. Would it be wrong if I brought up a child on my own, or even with another man? Or would it be better if I try to find a wife, even though I’m most attracted to guys? Hope you can answer me. :-)
From a guy of 19.
Hi,
Thanks for your questions. There are several questions here, so I’ll try to separate them. This is how I see your questions:
1. Can you bring up a child alone?
2. Can you bring up a child with another man?
3. Would it be better to find a wife?
From what you write in your first sentences, you seem to have pondered what the Bible says about homosexuality.
You are asking some really big questions, in fact we would recommend you to find someone you can talk to. Perhaps a pastor or another adult you can trust?
1. We don’t find anything specifically in the Bible that prohibits raising a child alone. Sometimes this is necessary due to death or divorce. However, it is not good for a child to grow up without a father or a mother. When God created mankind (man and woman) in His image, it was precisely because both man and woman together are necessary to reveal a larger part of God’s image than they can reveal alone (Genesis 1:27). This is also important for children. Men and women have different qualities which children need. It’s very important for children to grow up in a family where they know that mum and dad love each other and are faithful to each other. Even if some people have to bring up kids on their own, we don’t believe it is right to plan to do this. Something else to think about is that there have to be both a man and a woman present to have a baby. It can also be difficult to adopt a child without being two parents.
2. Bringing up a child along with another man becomes more problematic. As you can read in the question and answer mentioned above, the Bible is clear that homosexual relationships are sinful on a level with some other things. So we have to conclude that this is wrong according to God’s Word.
3. You write that you are most attracted to men. You don’t mention if you have ever been in love with girls or if you only have these feelings towards men. If you are not attracted to women, then you will not be able to give an emotional response to a woman if you are in a romantic relationship. In that case it would not be right to marry her. It is certainly not right to marry just because you want a child.
The fact that you really want a child shows that you like children. Remember, you can bring lots of joy to many children without having children yourself. You could for example aim to get a job in which you work with children on a daily basis – it’s actually really important that more men choose occupations like these. You can also do a very important job in a church or voluntary organisation, where you can invest time and energy in children who need someone who loves them. There are lots of children’s club leaders, trainers and youth workers who during the course of a long life have meant a huge amount for children and youths. Some adults find that this is just as meaningful as having their own children.