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Shaving before the wedding night?
Hi, :-) I’m a girl of eighteen who is soon to get married. I’m wondering if I should shave myself ‘down there’ before the wedding. Neither of us have had sex before, and I don’t know what’s normal. Would it be wrong to ask him since we’re not married yet? I know I can try not to do it until the wedding night, but I really want it to be perfect. Actually, what I’m really asking is what is normal among Christians, and if it would be embarrassing to ask him. Hope you can answer me! Thanks.
Hi,
It isn’t embarrassing to ask your fiancé what he thinks about this, even though you aren’t married. If you’re getting married very soon then it could be a good idea to talk about the expectations you have of your wedding night anyway; what kind of contraception you may use when you get married, and what expectations or worries you may have relating to sex generally. The wedding night is seldom ‘perfect’, but it can be a good start to a long relationship which just gets better as time goes on, if you are open and honest with each other.
It’s totally natural to have a lot of pubic hair, but our choices and ideas of what looks attractive can be influenced to a great extent by what we see in magazines and films. There’s a lot of focus on the body and sexuality in the media, and this creates insecurity and expectations. If you choose not to discuss this with your fiancé before the wedding, you will have to find out what you are happy with yourself. Your fiancé won’t be focussing on this on the wedding night.
There are some things you should know about shaving the genital area. Some people remove all their pubic hair, some don’t remove any, and lots of people do something in-between. We don’t think there’s anything that’s more normal among Christians compared to non-Christians. You can talk about this more when you’re married, and then you can find out what you both like best.
You need to be aware that the skin can become red and chafed after you’ve removed the hair, you can get red spots where hair follicles have got inflamed, and small cuts can take some time to heal. When the hair does grow back, it can often be itchy.
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Both body hair and pubic hair perform useful functions for our bodies. The hairs form a small space between the skin and our clothes, allowing air to circulate. This makes it less damp in the summer and a little warmer in the winter. They also retain humidity and help sweat to evaporate.
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