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Flirting with the girls

The Bible has something to teach us about how we should behave towards girls. I don’t want to be the person who hurts someone unnecessarily.

Now, I don’t know if you’re like me, but if you are, then perhaps you’ve experienced something like this:

You’ve been with one of the girls in the group for the whole evening. You like her and she likes you. In fact she likes you a lot. Maybe she likes you a bit too much, to be honest.

The problem is that your feelings stop at the ‘liking’ part. You simply can’t imagine having her as a girlfriend. At the same time, it’s exciting to see that she likes you. It’s thrilling when she shows you so clearly that she likes you, and you get so much attention. So why not play along a bit? It brightens up an otherwise boring week at school, doesn’t it? Have you experienced something like this?

I’m about thirty years old. In those thirty years I’ve spent a lot of time talking about girls, talking to girls and thinking about them. In other words: I’m like most guys.

‘Is it my responsibility that others don’t get hurt?’

I haven’t always escaped with my honour intact. I can’t say everything I did or said was good or right. I want to be the guy who kept his honour, who didn’t play around with the girls, but I have hurt some of them. I’m not talking about what sometimes has to happen, for example that you break up because you find out that is best for you both. I’m talking about when you date a girl even though you know that it probably won’t last till the summer’s over. Or when you make out with a girl even without giving her a further thought. Or when you flatter her, while you know you’re just talking nonsense.

I’ve also experienced getting hurt, and it’s not a good feeling. At the same time, I don’t want to be the person who hurts someone unnecessarily, just because I am not able to stick to my own principles.

What can we do about it? Is it OK to be led by our feelings, or do we have a responsibility for our actions, so that others don’t get hurt?

‘It’s important to have principles for how we act.’

If we’re interested in a girl, just flirting with her or even dating, it’s important to have some principles for how we behave.

The Bible story I’ve read most in the past few weeks is the story of creation. We read about how God created the world, then the animals and finally the first humans, Adam and Eve. Everything was perfect at the start. Adam and Eve didn’t walk around being jealous and afraid of being ditched. Now that must be the dream relationship! I wonder what happened after the fall of man? After they were thrown out of the garden? We know that they had a lot of children, but did they argue? Were they jealous? Did they hurt each other? What we do know is that life changed after sin entered the world, and we are now capable of hurting each other. But let’s not make this an excuse. We can’t reason with ourselves and say, ‘Well, that’s just what happens.’ We are actually responsible for our actions. Do we want others to be hurt?

‘Dream about the day when you can say to a woman that you won her with honour and pride.’

We must have some principles for how we behave. Here’s my principle: I will do towards others what I would like them to do to me. This is about something basic in our lives, and in Jesus’ teaching. He says ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ This isn’t only with regard to classmates, parents, siblings or friends, it also applies to girls, flirting and dating. This is the standard that the Bible teaches us to live according to. I totally agree that it’s not easy, but I want it to be my vision for the way I live my life. Honesty endures and will hurt people the least in the long run.

‘Love your neighbour as yourself’ is a motto for life, a vision and a call you can follow in your life. Dream big dreams about yourself, dream about the day when you can say to a woman that you won her with honour and pride. 

 

Published with permission from iTro.no