Looking for Mr Right

‘They’re all scumbags’

‘I really don’t know any guys who are both good-looking and kind. Either they’re kind, or they’re good-looking, and seem OK at the start, but they all end up as scumbags.

A girl I know told me this, one time we were talking about guys. I think – and hope – that she was exaggerating, but it was a genuine heart cry. She was fed up of looking for the perfect guy, and thought she’d never meet him.

‘Maybe they were better looking because they were guys I could trust.’

The reason we started on this topic of conversation was that I’d just got to know a group of Christian guys for the first time in my life, and they seemed too good to be true. My friend refused to believe that they were as I described them: attentive, funny, polite, interested in being friends with girls, and (in my eyes) very good-looking. Maybe I thought they were good-looking because they were all the other adjectives first? Maybe they were better looking because they were guys I could trust?

Girls, today I’m wondering about something. What do you think is the most important thing when you look for a boyfriend? You’ve probably got a list of answers. I would like you to think of a couple of things:

There are good quality guys around. Perhaps you’re like my friend, and have given up hope of finding one guy in the whole world who you think is both good-looking and good quality. Don’t give up hope. Listen to me, and others who have lived longer: there are quality guys. I promise! And the absolute best you can get is a guy who lives for and with God. (I’m cheering you on, men!)

There’s no rush. I guess you don’t agree, it’s very normal that a girl longs for a guy who wants her and her alone. You’re dreaming of a guy who thinks you’re the best person in the world for him. Who doesn’t want that? Anyway, there’s no rush. It’s better to be patient and wait for the one who is best for you, than getting stressed about it. Just think how much time and energy you use looking around. Could you have used your time in another way? In a better way? Perhaps it’s not so easy, but try to think about it. I think it’s extremely important to find yourself first, before you’re ready for a serious relationship.

‘Do you think that having a boyfriend is the main thing that’s missing in your life?’

Do things in the right order. Do you think that having a boyfriend is the main thing that’s missing in your life? Are you someone who just jumps right in, because you’re afraid that if you don’t do it now, he might change his mind? The best advice I can give you is this: If you want a romantic relationship that will last, and I hope you do, then the best place to start is with friendship. If it is only physical attraction and your need for attention that makes you jump into such a relationship, then I think you need to think it through once more.

The Bible tells us that God has a plan for our lives. Have you ever thought that God cares about who you will be in a relationship with? Or who you will marry? Give this to Him. If it’s His plan that you will not have a boyfriend, then it’s not the end of the world. A boyfriend isn’t the meaning of life. Really. Whatever happens, guard your heart and – not least – guard the heart of the guys you know. More about that (flirting) in the next girls’ talk.

P.S. If you really disagree with me about what I wrote, I hope you’ll read it through once more, and think a bit more over it, instead of just brushing it aside. I know God has great thoughts to share with us about what He thinks about our relationship with men.

Published with permission from iTro.no