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Never good enough

‘I just have to get a little thinner, and a little more tanned, and a little prettier. Then life will be good.’ Don’t believe it!

To all girls: My name’s Maria and I’m 27.

Something that’s on my heart when I talk to other Christian women is that we ought to be happy, secure women, confident in the fact that we are valuable and good enough. I don’t always feel like this, but I’ve learned that God thinks this way about me, so I have to practise letting His thoughts about me become my thoughts about myself.

‘If I were only a little different, then my life would have been so much better.’

If you’re like me, then you may have some voices in your head which you can’t always control. It’s they who say things like, ‘I really wish I had breasts like her’.

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Or, if I just had perfect skin like she does, or smaller feet. If my bottom was a bit more compact, and if I could just get a tan more quickly. If I could sing as nicely as she can, or got as good grades as she does. The conclusion to all of these thoughts is: if I were just a little different, then life would be so much better.

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Often we take it so far that we try to make some changes. Perhaps you miss some meals during the day. Maybe you train every day. Maybe you even take some tablets to get a tan. Perhaps you sit up night after night studying into the wee hours? Perhaps you’re saving up for a breast operation you want to have when you’re old enough to decide for yourself. Are you constantly looking for the new clothes that make someone notice you and give you a compliment?

I want to challenge you to stop and think. Ask yourself: How did my life become a battle? What am I working for? Will I really feel good about myself if I achieve this or that?

‘I have to find my security in the fact that I’m valuable, I’m worth loving.’

I’ve come to the conclusion that when I don’t feel that I’m good enough, when I try to find solutions to the problem such as becoming thinner, more tanned, prettier and more clever, it’s then that something deeper inside me needs to be sorted. I need to be absolutely sure, at the deepest possible level, that I am good enough. I have to find my security in the fact that I’m valuable, I’m worth loving. It is really possible to get there, bit by bit. God says to you and to me, sisters in faith in Jesus: ‘You are my girl, and I have created you. With your gifts and abilities, with your appearance you are perfect.’

You are good enough. Good enough.

My dear sister, don’t listen to the voices in your head. Don’t listen to the advertising posters, women’s magazines, TV series, and the blogs. The search for what society says is perfect is a futile search.

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You know, there are actually boys who want real girls, who think that it’s more important that your eyes shine because you are a woman of God, than that you have a slim, ‘perfect’ body. I’m not saying that it’s always going to be easy, and it’s something I always have to work on, but it does get easier and easier. I promise. Fill yourself with what is good, and be the best you can be. Don’t try to be someone else.

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Dear brother, who you are reading this girly article in secret. My dream is that you men will tell women that you like them for who they are. I’m so glad you are out there, you who say that we are worth dreaming about, even if we don’t always feel good enough. I’m cheering you on!

Published with permission from iTro.no