Nineteen and still a virgin – WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?
OK, let me explain. At least, I’ll try.
We live in a twisted world. A world that expects a huge amount of us. We ought to look like plastic, have breasts of plastic, and own all sorts of Apple products. Packed lunches should be colourful, and the salad should look like a beautiful landscape as it lies there on the sweaty cheese. And let’s not forget about the family income and the children’s IQ! We have to be perfect all the time. Many of us will never feel that we get enough, are enough or have enough. Whether it’s your appearance, likes, family relationships, friends or material goods – very few people who live in modern society can say that they are content with their lives. Enough about that. You get my point: the world is twisted.
On the other hand there are many consequences. They’re everywhere: adverts, posters, films, series, Instagram, Facebook, newspapers, magazines and books. The people behind them are trying to create a picture of what sex is. Maybe you’re thinking, ‘So what? Why do Christians make such a big deal out of all things sex-related?’ Precisely because it is a BIG DEAL! There’s nothing more intimate you can do with another person. And because this is the most important act you can do with another person, it can hurt us immensely too. God made sex like a glue that binds two people who will live together for the rest of their lives, so many of us will feel hurt as we have given away something that we can never get back. Sex is more than feelings. The Bible says that two people who have sex become one body. And this happens even if you don’t love the person you have sex with. I also think this is hard to understand. But I can explain it by saying that there occurs some sort of deep connection, right? Whether we want to or not, we get very strongly connected to the person we sleep with. It’s great when we think of it in the context of a lifelong marriage, but not so great if you don’t want to have anything to do with the person afterwards. We actually need to be set free from the deep connection we have with the person we had sex with. It’s very simple: ask for forgiveness, and pray that the invisible bonds tying us to that person will be broken.
Apart from me, nobody’s perfect. Of course, I’m joking. I’m also part of the imperfect crowd. Even almost-perfect Ivo (OK, I’ll stop now) makes mistakes every single day. The last thing we should do is be ashamed of what we’ve done. Jesus has taken all our guilt, sin and shame. Yippee! Isn’t it wonderful to be called a child of God?
Now listen, I’m not at all a sex guru, and many people will maybe think: how can she talk about this topic when she’s a virgin? Or, as many in today’s society say, ‘Inexperienced’.
Well, excuse me, I don’t know about you, but I’m a follower of Christ, and my heavenly Father created sex. His first command to people was, ‘Be fruitful and multiply …’ (Genesis 1:28). God thinks sex is a good idea, and says ‘YES!’ to it. I’m not saying this to embarrass you, but it is after all a life-giving gift of love to us, and a strong way to communicate love, joy, care, closeness and value. It brings excitement and enjoyment to the relationship. I want to wait with sex till I’m married, not because I have to, but because God says we should wait. He doesn’t say it in order to be boring, but because He’s our perfect Father! He wants only the best for us, He loves us, and He therefore knows what is best and safest for us.
‘But Ivo, what about you, don’t you have a boyfriend?’ you may ask. Yes, in fact I do! And I’m so lucky and thankful that I’ve got a boyfriend who has the same values as I have, and who respects me for who I am. We have chosen to set limits, and to wait till we’re married to have sex.
‘Isn’t it really embarrassing to say all this?’ Yes, I’m probably someone who shares a bit too much sometimes. But I do it because I want to be an example for others who are in the same situation as I am. It’s not easy, but one thing is certain: sex is beautiful and worth waiting for!
Don’t be fooled by the internet, your friends at school or the school nurse. Think about what’s best for YOU, and for the person you will marry one day. And if you’ve already fallen in this area, once, twice or a hundred times, you can pray for forgiveness. Jesus will take all your sin and shame on Himself, so that you can live in purity and freedom, together with Him and with your partner.
So, no, there’s nothing wrong with me. In fact there’s nothing wrong with anyone. It’s all about which choices we want to make, and which choices are actually the right ones.
You’re free to disagree with me, we’re all created with a free will.
This is a blog article written by ‘Ivo’ (19 years old) on the Norwegian blog ‘Welcome to my life’. Published with permission.