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I have a problem with "blue balls"

My boyfriend and I are both Christians and we've decided to wait with sex until we get married. He's also very clear about lust and masturbating not being right. At the same time he's struggling with so-called "blue balls", which makes it difficult for us to spend time together, and there's nothing he can do about the horrible pain which can last for several hours. Have you got any tips about how to solve this. We have of course thought that it's easier for him to not to have it happen again if we're not together, but that's not exactly something we want and we would therefore like to find some other way to fix things.

Hi, and thank you for your question!

It's great that you and your boyfriend are both Christians and decided to wait with sex till marriage. Also that you're clear about not letting your urges take charge. When it comes to blue balls, not much is said about it in medical literature but a number of boys do have the problem.

It's perfectly natural for them to get an erection when they are physically close to and hug their girlfriend. But if their erection lasts a long time without an orgasm or ejaculation, some boys get pain in the testicles area and this is what is meant by blue balls. An erection means the penis and genitals are flooded with blood, and puts pressure on them. It's perfectly harmless but can be painful. 

The best way to avoid it is to stay away from situations where you get sexually aroused for a longer period so the pressure builds up. Once it does, some boys find it takes several hours for the pain to subside unless they masturbate or have an ejaculation some other way. One article in the medical journal Pediatrics says one alternative to masturbation is to lift something heavy, or to blow out, with your mouth closed and holding your nose (like you do on a plane-trip to get rid of "airplane ear") 

It would be a good idea for you to talk about it. Maybe you should use less time petting and find other fun things to do together that don't set you off sexually? The most important thing for you is to develop your friendship and find your common interests. If, later on, you do get married, then you have all your lives to explore your sexuality and the physical side of love. 

All the best BoyNGirl.no

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