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A boy likes my friend

Hi, this is a question that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I’m starting to wonder if there’s a boy in my class who likes my friend. I think it seems a bit funny. (I don’t know why, but I always end up laughing so much when he goes past my friend.) I’m not really sure if he likes her. That’s why I’m writing to you, to find out if what I think is right or not. He looks at her a lot, and she has confirmed that that’s true. He stutters a bit when he talks to her. He is always near us, it’s as if he’s stalking us. Suddenly he can just appear behind us. He also talks to us. If we stand about a metre away from him doing something on our mobile phones, he talks really loudly to his friends. He might talk about what grades he got, or what level he’s achieved in a computer game. He thinks that we game a lot so it might be that he speaks loudly so that he gets our attention and then he wants us to think that he’s good at everything. He also asks a LOT of questions. He often asks about our favourite things, or things we don’t like, or what we’ve done recently. The problem is that me and my friend think that it’s really annoying when he approaches us like that. It feels like he’s stalking us or something. I’ve also noticed that he’s quite nervous when he talks to her, and that he suddenly comes to me and asks me what my friend likes.
Sent in by a girl of 15.

Hi girl of 15,

It’s not easy to say what is behind the way this boy is behaving, but according to what you’ve described it seems that he is interested in her. It’s quite natural that you find his behaviour both funny and irritating, because when someone is in love, they act in different ways. Being in love gives a kind of ‘high’ feeling, and people can act different around the one they are in love with. Everyone acts different around the one they are in love with, so it’s not always easy to interpret people’s behaviour. Some people try to act tough and impress others as much as possible, while others become nervous and find it hard to make contact. But there are some common signs that you can be aware of.

Someone who is in love with you will look at you a lot, try to stay near you, and will give you extra attention. He will try to make contact with you, either directly or by text or on the internet. He might often talk about you to his friends or ask about you. He will smile and become happy when he sees you, and he will maybe be kind and nice toward you. He might also try to be funny, tease you, or act cool when he’s near you. A lot of people become clumsy and nervous, and stutter and can’t find anything to say, while others become a bit hyper and talk too much.

A lot of times it can be hard to show who you really are when you are near someone you like. Sometimes the kind of behaviour associated with being in love will actually be so annoying that it pushes people away from, instead of towards, us.

You write that you have started to get annoyed at his behaviour, so maybe you should help him by being nice to him and helping him to relax and be himself. If you feel extra brave, you can talk to him and tell him in a nice way that you find it a bit annoying when he acts like that. It’s not always so easy for boys to know how girls want them to act, so girls have to tell the boys that they can relax and be themselves and not try to act so cool.

Best wishes,

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