Difficulty with having a boyfriend in the USA

Thanks for your questions!

You are facing a big and important decision and are already clear that choosing a spouse needs to be based on more than just feelings. That's great! You can never be a hundred percent sure of choices you make in life. There will always be a certain risk of making a mistake - also when it comes to choice of spouse. As a Christian, however, one has a great advantage: you can ask God to guide you to make the right choice. When you do that - and you probably already have - God can guide you by speaking to you in a variety of ways: thoughts; dreams; visions; even common sense. God often speaks to our "inner feelings": your proverbial "gut feeling" or "intuition". And when you ask God for help and guidance in this choice you now are facing, you can trust Him to help you.

Have you considered the possibility that it is God inspiring you to think of things the way you already do? You write that you want to be dating someone you can see a future with. Have you asked yourself whether you see a future with this guy? What does your gut feeling tell you? You also think about ending it and how you will then put it across to him. The fact that you have followed this train of thought as far as you have may also be confirmation that it is right to end it. But when all is said and done, it is you who has to mull it over and make a decision. It is up to you to make your choice, do what your feel you have to.

Furthermore, you say that you'd prefer to marry a Christian. As you point out, it can be difficult to be married to someone who does not share the same beliefs and values. Faith determines all our values ​​and attitudes. When you do not share it, this can cause many challenges and conflicts between the two of you, not only in relation to physical boundaries and sex, but other things like child-rearing, etc. When choosing a partner, it is important to find someone who stands with you shoulder to shoulder, and supporting you and moving towards the same goal. A lifelong marriage will face various kinds of crisis, and when it does it is best not to be in disagreement about fundamental values ​​and points of view.

If you come to the conclusion that he is not the right person to share your life with, he is certainly mature enough to tolerate an honest but respectful explanation. It's not really about him as a person not being good enough, but that you have completely different ways of looking at the world which in the long run will be incompatible with the kind of marriage you believe in. Try say something about the positive qualities he has that you have appreciated and how great a person he is, but that you have such different values ​​that in the long run a marriage will not turn out right. However, there is nothing to prevent you from nurturing the good friendship you already have!

Good luck!

Best wishes, 
BoyandGirl.info