Hi, thanks for your question.
People are created with emotions and needs which mean that they want to be close to other people. During puberty our sexuality develops, and it is quite natural that we have a desire to be close to another person sexually. Looking at it from a purely biological viewpoint, we are created this way in order to reproduce and have children. God also created sex as something which is good and which is to be enjoyed within the right framework.
The Bible tells us that sex belongs within marriage between one man and one woman, where they have promised to be faithful to each other for their whole lives. This is the framework God has created in order that our sexuality can be safe and enjoyable.
Lots of things can give us sexual feelings without them being good for us; watching porn is one of these. It might be easy to think that watching porn is normal and ‘safe’ because lots of people do it. However, porn shows sex that is totally without love. A lot of people feel uncertain after watching porn, as they don’t know what expectations their sex partner has of them, or if they are good enough. This is not what God wants for us, as it gives us an unrealistic picture of what sex is and can also be addictive.
It’s also important to know about some of the things that go on in the porn industry. The people producing porn make huge amounts of money from it. It’s cheap to produce and easy to sell. The internet has helped pornography to spread rapidly, and it’s available everywhere. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in the porn industry who are unhappy or who are exploited through human trafficking. Many of the men and women who appear in sex films or photos regret it afterwards, and sometimes children or others are pushed into being filmed or photographed against their will. It’s hard to know how they have been produced or who wanted to be involved when their videos and photos are spread around the net.
Looking at porn isn’t the same as having sex, but it does awaken sexual desire in us, a lust for sexual activity with other people, but this is actually only for marriage. We are influenced by what we see, especially what we see often and over an extended time. Most of us know what an influence films, books and music has on us. These days there is loads of material to choose between, so it’s extra important to think about what we want to fill our minds with. If we want to live according to what the Bible tells us is good or bad for us, it means we have to avoid pornographic content. In practice this means that we need to avoid quite a few series and films which are perhaps not listed as pornographic, but which are broadcast on normal TV channels or streaming services such as Netflix.
It’s not always easy to do, but if you think through what you want to watch in advance, this can help you stand against temptation when it comes. There’s a man in the Bible called Job, he lived close to God and he describes how he had ‘made a covenant’ with his eyes. He had promised himself that he would not look lustfully at a woman.
‘I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.’ Job 31:1
It’s never too late to decide how you want to live. In First Corinthians (in the New Testament) the apostle Paul explains how God helps us in our temptations, because He is faithful and helps us find a way out:
‘No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.’ 1 Cor. 10:13
There are several things you can do to help you stop watching porn. The first thing to do is to talk to someone you trust and who shares your values, that you want to stop. It can be difficult to talk about, but a lot of people experience that it helps to have a friend joining you in the process.
We also recommend you to read these articles:
5 skritt til frihet fra porno
Porno - hvorfor ikke?
Avhengig av porno
Fri fra porno
We’ve also answered similar questions before, here are some suggestions to what you can read:
Har slitt med pornografi over mange år og mange ser opp til meg
Jente 15 - Sliter med porno
Hvorfor blir man avhengig av porno?
Best wishes, BoyandGirl.info