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Pregnancy and abortion?

Hi, I’m a sixteen-year-old girl and I’m wondering where I can get help with a problem I have.My best friend had sex with her boyfriend (I know that isn’t good before you are married), then she took a pregnancy test and discovered she was pregnant!She’s quite afraid now, but she says that she has decided she will have an abortion. Where can she get help to do this and how can she do it without her mum and dad finding out? I really want to help her! :-(


Your friend has got into a very difficult situation. It is a shock to find out you are pregnant at such a young age, and so the first thing people think of is how to get rid of the problem and continue with normal life.

Having a child is amazing, but it is also tiring and a huge responsibility, and someone as young as sixteen doesn’t feel ready for that. Although abortion seems like a good solution right now, she will have to live with the consequences. The child is already there even though it is very small, and it will make itself felt in her body and in her thoughts: many people struggle with mental problems after they have had an abortion.

You write that she is very frightened now. That’s very natural when you experience a crisis in life. She really needs adults who can support her and be there for her. Even though it may feel scary to tell her parents, it’s good for them to know about it in the long run. Living with secrets is very challenging mentally, and even if her parents get angry or sad, it’s better for her to face the consequences.

It is a good idea to tell another adult first, for example a counsellor. Perhaps your parents could also help, or adult leaders you trust in your church, the school nurse or a teacher you trust. You can offer to be with her when she tells an adult, and then that adult could be with her when she tells her parents, as parents will generally react in a more controlled way when there is another adult there who is supporting your friend. That adult and your friend can plan what they will say and prepare for her parents’ reaction beforehand. If she needs it, the other adult could also, together with your friend, work out whether her parents will support her or if she needs another adult to support her for a while. Your friend will definitely need lots of support, and someone who can be there for her and listen to her.

It could be a good idea to contact https://lifecharity.org.uk They have lots of good experience helping young girls who are pregnant to find solutions. It is a free counselling service for those who have an unplanned pregnancy.

It is really important that she tries to get help and advice from an adult.


Best wishes

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