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God has a plan for your life, including your love life

God has a plan for your life, including your love life

Wait passively or date every day? God gives you the opportunities, but you have to take them.

We live in a culture fixated on love, whether it's The Batchelor or Love Island or the Pursuit of Love. What all these TV reality series have in common is the idea that love is something you have to look long and hard for and choose to commit yourself to. 

Which, is to some degree correct. However, as Christians we also need to qualify and nuance the message. For isn't God the one who looks out for us? 

Waiting upon God's plan 

Waiting for the right person to come along can be pretty wearing. It feels like one of those "duties" that have to be completed so you can live a full and valuable life; as if marriage is a matter of going on some "next level" of Christian life, and it feels unattainable. 

We don't really need to struggle like that. We can trust that God has a plan for our lives including our love life. We can wait upon God's plan and be patient. We do not have to go on a date every evening to be out there finding "the right one" as soon as possible. 

Things happen in ways we don't understand in my experience, and I also find this repeated in the love stories of my friends. 

It can seem frustrating to be told you should simply wait upon God. But even though you do not have to strive , and though God can arrange a meeting with that future husband or wife when you weren't even thinking of dating, it's wrong to give priority to getting to know lots of new people. 

Just don't be passive! 

It's wonderful to be able to rest in God's plan for your love life but, as in all areas of life, that does not mean being completely passive. 

Of course God can get the person of your dreams to meet you at your door with a boom-box and bouquet of flowers declaring their love for you; and of course you need not get up off your sofa or take any chances for that to happen. But - God doesn't usually do it that way. You only have to consider the Great Commission: "I have been given all power, therefore go out into all the world". Just as in evangelism, obviously it is God who saves and God who provides for his disciples, but all the same Jesus tells us to actively GO. We are to do something. We are to put ourselves in positions where God can use us. 

God gives you the opportunities, but you have to take them. 

Comparing the great commission with dating may seem a bit far-fetched. But the principle is actually true for all of life whenever we want to live in the will of God and live out those "ready-made works" the New Testament talks of. A better example, maybe, is that you can pray your exam will go well, and maybe it is also God's plan for you to get a job you need a high grade for. But that doesn't mean you can stop studying for your exams or not apply for the job afterwards. God gives you the opportunity, but you've got to make use of it and do your part.

So, put yourself in situations where you maybe could meet new, exciting people of the opposite sex. Take a chance, dare to ask someone to have a coffee, or accept when you're invited, or go for a walk with that guy who seems so nice. Even though you feel you've tried so often before, keep being active. 

Personal development 

It's not certain you will actually find the person of your dreams. In fact I'd venture to guess that you never will meet the fantasy you imagine is the answer to all your needs; it's impossible to, in fact. 

Jesus is the only person who can measure up to all your needs. A boyfriend or a wife will never manage to fill that space, so don't try and press the person you're a bit keen on into that mould. It will not work. 

Get to know other people simply because they are interesting people, not because they're potential marriage partners. Then you will be have a good friendship while something you thought was only friendship may turn into a deeper romantic relationship - who knows? 

In the process you will also get to know yourself better, find some qualities within yourself that you are proud of, and notice others that you still need to work on. Even if you do end up still single, you will have learnt from your experiences and trained yourself in having trust in God. 

For even though all the TV-programmes and happy couples on Instagram make you feel as if you've failed somehow since you haven't met the "right one", there are other values in your Christian life that matter more. Nice as it is to become two, marriage is not the meaning of life, nor does it lift you to a "next level" it simply opens doors. You are alive already. That is the true meaning of life. 

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