Hi,
There can be many different reasons for having a low self-image, and there are many ways to increase it, so it is a little hard to answer this question completely here.
Self-image is what you think of yourself. A good self-image means that you feel loved, accepted and valuable, and that you can achieve things in life. Self-image is not inborn, but it comes through what you experience in life.
It is very common to have a low self-image. A lot of people are not content with themselves: they don’t like the way they look, they feel that they can’t accomplish what they want to, and they feel that they don’t achieve what they want at school, among friends, or in sports. Usually these feelings don’t agree with what other people actually think of them.
It is possible to change the way we look at ourselves in order to get a better self-image. One way to do this is to talk to someone regularly, for example a school nurse, therapist, counsellor, youth leader, psychologist or someone else you trust. You can also read articles and books on the subject. As you talk to someone, you will find out why you think the way you do, and what you need to do to change it.
It’s important to think the truth about yourself, and not to believe lies. That’s why it’s a good idea to think about who you want to trust and believe among all the voices demanding our attention.
God wants us to be secure and contented with our identity. We are all His creation, and that gives us infinite value, see Psalm 139: 13–17. Each of us can have critical thoughts about ourselves, and we can easily gather many negative thoughts about ourselves.
In order to look after ourselves and have self-confidence, we need to know ourselves and dare to be the same with others as we are when we are alone. A good level of self-confidence isn’t about what we look like or what we can accomplish, it is about accepting ourselves and daring to be known for who we are.
Good self-confidence does not come automatically. You have to actively find out who you are and accept yourself, and then practise to present yourself to others as who you are.
Here are some points you can work on:
1: Be yourself
Find out who you are! Stop comparing yourself with others, let them get on with their own lives. Having family and friends with whom you can talk openly will help you to develop the ability to get in contact with people and express who you really are.
2: Find out who you are
Write a list of all your positive qualities and everything you are good at. Hang it up somewhere so you can see it every morning. Write down all the compliments you get. If you’re having a bad day, take the sheet out and read it. It is also good for your self-confidence to learn to give compliments. Try to notice the aspects of your personality that stand out. Find out which aspects of your personality you like and which you want to develop. Make a mental image of how you want to be in different situations.
3: Act!
Start to practise being who you really are. Make your opinions known, say what you think, express yourself at home, at school and among friends. Try to break some personal barriers and push yourself so that you develop the confidence to present yourself as who you are. Make eye contact with the person you are talking to, as this shows that you believe what you are saying and that you are secure. Your body language tells your thoughts what you think about yourself. A straight back shows your self-confidence to you and to others near you. It’s also important to keep active. When you train, endorphins are released and these make you feel better.
4: Set yourself goals
Find out who you want to be and work towards the goal. You have to stop comparing yourself with a perfect image, always try to be yourself and communicate this in a clear way. Note that you have positive things to contribute to this world!
5: Practise!
You will probably notice that you can’t quite manage to do this all the time, and that the feelings of not being good enough come back. Don’t think badly of yourself, give yourself room to make mistakes and be proud of when you do something well. We often move two steps forward and one step back! But remember that it’s all about practise. Whatever we practise will increase, and that includes our self-confidence. Try to treat yourself as your best friend.
You can also read:
Self-image
What do you have?
You are special
Also, Do you know that research shows that active people have better self-confidence! So, try that too!
Best wishes, boyandgirl.info